Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
