I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Randomize
