wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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