We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
