I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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