My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
