i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
the day after is always just damage control
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
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