belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Randomize
