You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
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