white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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