well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Randomize
