Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
