I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
