with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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