At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
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