at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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