How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
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