I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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