I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Randomize
