none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Where is the hickey?
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
