My hair reeks of homosexuality.
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Randomize