i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Randomize
