i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
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