He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
