did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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