Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
