He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
