okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
