walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Randomize
