Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
