i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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