listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
