I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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