Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
This toilet bowl is my home.
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