Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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