Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
