Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
are you so shy because you have an std?
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
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