When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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