You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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