There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
