How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
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