Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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