Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
