Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
