So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Randomize
