Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
false alarm. still invincible.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
