that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
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