Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
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