Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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