You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
organizing the empties. That sober.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize
