i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
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