no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
