feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
