Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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